Sometimes a Fantasy

What do Louisville's librarians think about Jim James' ode to sexy bookworms on the new My Morning Jacket disc?

Who hasn't had a librarian fantasy? Jim James sure has.

The My Morning Jacket singer has an ode to the librarian on Evil Urges, in which he describes how a simple little bookworm morphs into a sexy librarian just by taking off her glasses and letting down her hair. (Hey, in our librarian fantasies, the glasses stay on. But that's neither here nor there.)

In the song, James imagines this librarian listening to the Carpenters low on an AM radio in a nearly vacant library. "Since we got the Interweb, these hardly get used," he sings about the stacks of books. But then he spies her: "So I watch you thru the bookcase... You and I at dinner, spending time, then to sleep."

What do actual librarians make of having a rock star intrigued by them? We walked across the courtyard, toward the Louisville library.

Natalie Thompson, 28
"It's about time somebody recognized. A boy put it on a mixtape for me. It was pretty cute. It kinda makes me swoon."

Rainey Wyatt, 28
"I think it's nice that they're celebrating librarians. I don't think it quite encompasses everything about a librarian, though. It fits that stereotype - either you're bookish or you're a sexy librarian, nothing more."

Beth Nahenski, 45
"My husband and I were at the Nachbar a few weekends ago, and we saw it on the jukebox. I said, 'I wonder what that sounds like?' It was pretty funny. My husband's a librarian, also. But it didn't sound like they were singing to him. (laughs) Something about 'putting your hair down'? A few stereotypes there... Actually, I loved the song. I like My Morning Jacket."

James "J.J." Jackson, 58
"For me, it probably wouldn't (relate). I'm definitely not stereotypical. I, myself, since I'm not the quote-unquote typical librarian, I break the mold. As I grew up, that was the mold - you know, they had the bun on the head, pencil in their hair, telling people 'shhh!' (Today) it's much different."


Photos.com

c. 2008 Velocity Weekly

How to lose a lot of money in an hour or less

Today's Ville Voice has this report on the Forecastle Festival that founder JK McKnight asked me not to attend this weekend:

"It has (sic) hot and sticky, so the 300 or so fans who had come to listen to Robert F. Kennedy Jr. speak at the Forecastle Festival were trying to stay cool, but they weren't missing a minute of the impassioned environmentalist's speech."

This is why Captain JK got upset, BTW.

The capacity at Headliners Music Hall is 700 people so, any time you go see, say, Wax Fang, you're probably surrounded by twice as many people as that.

Meanwhile, on Saturday night I was thrilled to attend a unique and wonderful Bonnie 'Prince' Billy concert in a field that also had 300 friendly people in attendance. Tickets were limited to 300 because it was a private residence.

Below, you can spot me next to - ironically - Lebowski Fest co-founder Will Russell!



c. 2008 Velocity Weekly

At the Forefront

Every stage, every act, everything you need to know about the music that will be made at Forecastle

We asked Peter Berkowitz to check out every band and artist appearing at the festival. Here's his report:

FRIDAY

Jamili Brown
5 p.m.
A seven-piece local band that cites in its press materials influences like "Outkast. Red Hot Chili Peppers. Neptunes. Tupac. Eagles." Still unclear? "JB loves to showcase their influences in cover songs ranging from the Red Hot Chili Peppers to The Beatles to 2Pac to The Eagles."

Code Red
6 p.m.
One of the best hip-hop crews in a town, even if national fame has eluded them. Code Red has worked hard for a few years to get heard. Show 'em some respect.

DJ 2nd Nature
7 p.m.
Forecastle's website brags that this Atlantan is ranked the "4 VJ in the world by DJ Mag." That probably makes him better than Dave Kendall, but not as good as Matt Pinfield. I just hope he's a Republican virgin!

Devlin and Darko of Spank Rock
8 p.m.
Spank Rock's 2006 debut, "YoYoYoYoYo," was the best hip-hop album of the decade, but rapper Naeem Juwan won't be part of the performance this time. Spank Rock without him is like Led Zeppelin without Robert Plant, but if you like dancing to people playing records, this will still be one of the better sets.

Del the Funkee Homosapien
9 p.m.
In the early '90s, few would have suspected that Del would last this long. He's too playful, too weird -- not gangsta enough, not sex-obsessed enough, not interested in the charts. These qualities and a well-developed flow (he provides the raps for the Gorillaz), have brought him fans and kept him afloat.

GZA
10 p.m.
Forecastle's 97-percent middle-class Caucasian audience has loved the Wu Tang Clan for years. The chance to see a member in person doesn't happen in Louisville very often. (Method Man already canceled.) Let's hope that the fourth-most-popular (living) member actually shows up.

SATURDAY

WEST STAGE

Go Van Gogh
Noon
With a name like that, it's got to be good. But it's not, unless you like the over-heated frat rock heard in every miserable college town.

Pomegranates
1 p.m.
Instant-classic sounding indie rock from Cincinnati that should sound perfect on a summer Saturday afternoon. Like the ad says, "Not too hard, not too soft … just right." Bring your girlie with you, she'll probably want to make out.

Morning State
2 p.m.
Four very young men from Atlanta/Athens, their classic approach to pop-rock blends the Shins, Phantom Planet and Foreigner in a stew that is crowd-pleasing and surprisingly athletic.

Margot & the Nuclear So and So's
3 p.m.
Being the best band in Indianapolis isn't really that awesome, so it's great to see Margot et al. getting discovered all over the country. This catchy, literate pop should be on the top of the charts and pouring out of everyone's hoopties all summer.

Film School
4 p.m.
I don't like untruths, so it pisses me off to see "featuring ex-member of Pavement" in the press materials for Film School. It's correct that a member (Scott Kannberg) played on their 2001 record, but that's it. He's not in the band. Anyway, speaking of the past, did you know that shoegazer bands still exist?

Snowden
5 p.m.
A groove-based Atlanta rock band from the indie world that isn't "dance punk" and isn't a mopey wannabe Joy Division ripoff. Can you really dance to a indie-rock band? Yes! See you there.

Extra Golden
6 p.m.
Do you like Kenyan music but wish it could be fused with Chicago post-rock? Well, brother, come on down! Long story short, this is an international cross-pollination that doesn't come around often, so don't miss a musical experience of a lifetime.

Tortoise
7 p.m.
The fact that this Chicago group, which in the mid-'90s smashed rock, jazz, lounge and modern classical music together and shaped a sound that has since influenced thousands, is opening for a jam band called the Disco Biscuits says everything that is wrong about music festivals.

Z-Trip
8 p.m.
While some might say that this gimmicky L.A.-based DJ (and Tommy Lee pal) peaked in 2001, he recently went to Kuwait with Carlos Mencia, Jessica Simpson and the Pussycat Dolls, so who am I to judge?



The Disco Biscuits
10 p.m.
Didn't this junk go out in 1994? They sound like the soundtrack to a bad movie on Cinemax about robots. I don't see how anyone who isn't an 8-year-old boy could possibly like this. I mean, do you like horrible, lazy, self-satisfied jam bands? Then you'll probably like this. But you shouldn't.

EAST STAGE

All We Seabees
12:30 p.m.
Folk-based indie rock from Nashville. Which means one of them probably waited on you the last time you ate in a restaurant in Hillsboro Village.

The Seedy Seeds
1:30 p.m.
A duo from Cincinnati who are cute cute cute! (Stay away if you don't like cute.)

D.W. Box and One Long Song
2:30 p.m.
A theatrical local who is somewhere between Broadway and Diamanda Galas. (In other words, best enjoyed at night, indoors or perhaps in the woods.)

Unwed Sailor
3:30 p.m.
Epic instrumental/cinematic big idea music from a collective now based in Lawrence, Kan.

Prizzy Prizzy Please
4:30 p.m.
Well, it's not the worst name you'll hear all weekend. If you're ready to have fun and let some wild kids get all crazy, these Bloomington goofballs would like nothing else. They will spazz their noise all over your ch'i.

People Noise
5:30 p.m.
One of these guys was in VHS or Beta for 10 years. You figure it out. They don't sound like John Mellencamp.

SUNDAY

WEST STAGE

The Giving Tree Band
12:30 p.m.
A group that fell asleep at Woodstock and just woke up. Their blend of rural folk, bluegrass, and old timey country is as fresh and pure as their "environmentally friendly music" and "a band that rocks green" mottos are illogical. (What, did you walk here from Chicago?)

Arnett Hollow
1:30 p.m.
Locals grounded in bluegrass (and, perhaps, a bit of extra rock 'n' roll energy) who began from a concept - a bluegrass "opera"? - and can be seen regularly at bars around town. And proud we are of all of them.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
2:30 p.m.
Wait, what? The music takes a break for the festival's "keynote speaker," who just happens to be the eighth-most important member of the Kennedy dynasty. Well, it's still better than Jack Johnson.



Gran Bel Fisher
3:30 p.m.
No pressure, Gran Bel Fisher, he's just a Kennedy. The lad (his name is spelled incorrectly on the festival website) is such an insufferably sensitive singer-songwriter twit that I'm surprised that he plays anywhere but college coffeehouses. Who else but those girls would tolerate this?

Catfish Haven
4:30 p.m.
From Chicago, home of the Blues Brothers, comes this oddly soulful rock band that only needs to be heard to increase its fanbase. It would take a cold, dark heart to not be impressed by the genuine feeling, talent and dedication.

Groovatron
5:30 p.m.
The first song on this band's MySpace is called "Scuff Muffin." Take your bong back to the basement and learn how to play music, guys. (F.Y.I.: You do realize that the cantina band in "Star Wars" was supposed to be funny, right?)

The Del McCoury Band
6:20 p.m.
One of the greatest bluegrass bands in existence today graces us with its beautiful vocalizing, harmonizing and amazing musicianship. If you don't like Del and the boys, then you don't like life and I don't like you.

Dr. Dog
7:40 p.m.
It's America's Gomez, road warriors from Philadelphia making their 23rd trip to Louisville this year and doing their dangdest to win you over with a '60s-inflected classic rock sound that always works on a sunny day.

The New Mastersounds
8:45 p.m.
I don't get how none of the oxy-fueled faux-freaks who love jam bands listen to actual jazz, yet somehow can appreciate a well-done approximation of the real thing like this. These Brits have played with Lou Donaldson and Idris Muhammed, names which will mean nothing to fans of Ekoostik Hookah.

Ekoostik Hookah
10 p.m.
This is a headliner? This sounds like what happens when guys who used to play together in high school get together at their 25th high school reunion and jam one more time.

EAST STAGE

The Town Criers
Noon
Led by Mick Sullivan of the dearly departed Fire the Saddle, this rootsy group includes guitar, banjo, fiddle, mandolin, tuba and drums. That's right, drums. Weird, huh?

Otis Gibbs
1 p.m.
From the unfashionable state of Indiana comes this Socialist-seeming folk singer of the type that was only fashionable for a moment in the late '50s. (But you don't follow fashion, do you?)

Backyard Tire Fire
2 p.m.
Some bands do a great job of picking a name that tells you about their music. This is punky/rootsy/alt-country/heavy drinkin' rock, right? Yeah, pretty much. It's not as on the nose as Drive-By Truckers, but it also doesn't get old as quickly -- just like their music.

Cabin
4 p.m.
Once tagged as Louisville's Coldplay, the Cabin mates have yet to marry a Gwyneth, father an Apple, be savaged by the New York Times or be produced by Brian Eno. But there's still time!

Paradigm
5 p.m.
Like Medeski Martin & Wood, these U of L alums do a respectable job simulating post-bop jazz. They might even make you dance, but it's a challenge -- when was the last time you danced at 5 in the afternoon?

ACTIVISM STAGE

Chris Volpe
1:15 p.m.
From Nashville, an independently-minded, finger-pickin' folker who's just a little too interesting to ever get played on the radio, unfortunately.

Josh Garrels
2:15 p.m.
Garrels' "soulful" "grooves" will help convert you to his ministry. (And this time, I don't just mean fanbase. This Indianapolis singer/songwriter is a true believer amongst Mary Magdalene and the lepers.)

Brigid Kaelin
3 p.m.
If you live here and are interested in music, you don't need me to tell you that this is one of the most popular and respected singer-songwriter-keyboardist-accordianista-saw players in town, do you?

c. 2008 Velocity Weekly

excerpts from "Come On Feel The Noise"

Friday
The Pour Haus

10 p.m.
Hambone
This one-person blues band (guitar in hand, percussion at his feet) could pass for one of the Jonas Brothers and has a name that is downright offensive. He attempts to win over the crowd of 13 (mostly Muffys and Chads) with some seriously intense guitar faces and self-deprecating comments about the fact that no one is here to see him. His technique is not completely horrific, but he can't keep time and his level of soul power would suggest that he might be Jim Belushi's son.

11 p.m.
Pete Dressman & the Soul Unified Nation
The image: A Red Hot Chili Peppers wannabe band from the Sunset Strip, circa 1991, that is now trying out "that hot new grunge sound." Lead singer Dressman wears a stylish black shirt and a tie, which is sweet but sad, considering that the audience has now reached only 20 people. "This one's on the CD we've got for sale!" he exclaims, which moves no one.

Midnight
Jonathan's Machete
Three completely generic fellows around 22 hit the stage and pound out a tune that sounds like "Fever Dog" from "Almost Famous" but, sadly, isn't. The audience has shrunk back even further. Apparently, the previous act, Pete Dressman & the Soul Unified Nation, was the "headliner," leaving Jonathan's Machete to mop up. When the singer announces that the second song will be an Incubus cover, I go outside to get some air.


Saturday
The Rudyard Kipling

10:30 p.m.
Squeeze-bot
A clever, unique combo that can appeal to the jazz, rock and jam band crowds - in a good way - Squeeze-bot sounds like a joke when you try to describe it but sounds terrific when you actually get to hear it play. Accordion, banjo, tuba and drums? There's no way this can work, but it does, and then they throw in a cover of "Walk This Way." Top that!

11:30 p.m.
Bad Blood
A high-octane, full-throttle '60s-style rave-up in the tradition of the MC5, these dudes really know how to rock the house. Lead singer Andy Gillooly can belt it out like no one else in town. John Waters would be wise to have them in his next film, no matter what era he sets it in. I'd love to see them with a horn section.

12:30 a.m.
Lucky Pineapple
One of the best bands in town, Lucky Pineapple has phenomenal range, instincts and skill, and can rock it out, slow it down and/or pull it inside-out, at will. It's hard to pin down where their ideas come from, but I'd have to start with exotica, prog, post-rock and new wave. Bonus points for knowing how to utilize one of the best drummers in the Western world.


photo by Amber Sigman

c. 2008 Velocity Weekly

RZA As Bobby Digital

Digi Snacks
(Koch)

Some people get better with age. Most people who’ve known me would agree, if the discussion is about me, but this one isn’t. Fans of the RZA’s, from 36 Chambers through Ghost Dog to today, might argue that he’s already shocked the world and can never rise to his peak again, but they miss the point. Like the bluesmen of the 20th century, he’s getting deeper as he gets older.

His intensity gets scarier, his sexual digressions ("Good Night") get more uncomfortable and his weirdness (care to explain "Would you rather have a digi or a Scooby snack"?) — he still just doesn’t care if you get it. I mean, the dude’s got an El DeBarge cameo on his record in 2008.



To me, who’s heard a few thousand records at least, probably hundreds of them by a Wu Tang Clan member, nothing shows maturity and mastery more than making more bold, cold records long after the cool kids have moved on to the new trend. Long live Shaolin!

c. 2008 LEO Weekly

Melvins

Nude with Boots
(Ipecac)

The fact that the Melvins still exist isn’t that odd. It seems like pretty much every band that ever made an impact still exists, even if they broke up in 1979 and only reunited last month. Even Krist Novoselic from Nirvana plays bass in Flipper today. What’s odd about the Melvins’ existence today is that they never left, the two founding members still seem to care as much now as they did in 1986, and they still rock, even when they drone for minutes on end.



Kicking out of the gates with the Kiss-esque "The Kicking Machine," the old boys (and their young partners, Big Business, returning for another collaboration) rock as if it’s all that matters in the world. By track 4, a cover of the eerie classic "Dies Irae," you’ll forget that rock ’n’ roll has happened yet. Throughout the 11 songs, the band provides a master class in how far four smart dumb guys can stretch the boundaries of what someone might call “heavy metal,” by adding major elements of experimentation, progressiveness and stupidity.

c. 2008 LEO Weekly

Q&A: Duff Goldman

The 'Ace of Cakes' brings a special creation - and his band - to Lebowski Fest

Tell me about your relationship to "The Big Lebowski".
"Dammit, Donny!" (laughs). I'm a huge fan of the Coen brothers, and everybody can relate to The Dude in some shape or form. His best friends are making his life hard, but he just wants his rug back. There's all this stuff around him, but no matter what, he has his wants, his needs, his aspirations. It's simple -- "I just want my rug back." Especially as I get older ... I now know exactly how he's feeling.

So this isn't just another cake for you.
I have Lebowski Fest posters framed all over my house, from all over, New York, L.A. There's something about that movie that's very defining. Y'know, doing all this stuff, being on TV, people think it changes you -- but if you ask people who knew me 10 years ago, they'll tell you, I'm still the same guy. I haven't changed. I know the Coens make a lot of references to Shakespeare, but as far as The Dude goes, "to thine own self be true" says it all. He's trying to be himself. The Dude is a good guy. Maybe he doesn't have a job, he smokes pot, but he looks after his friends. Y'know, he goes to his landlord's weirdo performance art piece even though he's a weirdo Commie.

It's like our show. We don't claim to be the best, we don't put on a show, we don't put on personalities. We're just people like me and you. People can call the bakery anytime and get me on the phone eventually. Same thing for The Dude. He so reminds me of my cousin. You just gotta love him despite his faults, which are many but, y'know, he's trying. He's very human, he's very real.

Do you have any ideas about the cake that you're bringing to the fest that you can talk about now?
The rug is gonna be central. We're probably gonna do the marmot -- which is really a ferret -- a toe, a helmet, Larry's book report. We're gonna do a little of everything. We could do one massive Valkyrie helmet and everyone would get it, but … like, we could do a cassette tape of "Logjammin,' " but they might not be into porn.

Everyone will have a piece to work on -- "You make a toe, you do a white Russian, you make a coffee can full of ashes, you make a marmot."

We'll have the crew with us, filming all the craziness.

Goldman will bring the specially designed cake to Lebowski Fest on Saturday. As a bonus, his band, ... soihadto ..., will be playing the Lebowski Fest Garden Party.



c. 2008 Velocity Weekly

Choose Your Own Summer Festival

Have you ever gone to a music festival and thought, "I bet I could do a better job of programming a weekend of music than these people?"
I don't go to most festivals, for many reasons, but the main reason is the music. I don't want to have to sit through Blues Traveler and Jack Johnson just to see Radiohead; I'd rather wait until Radiohead comes back through the region on their own tour, thank you very much.
(I do have dozens of other reasons, but we're not here to talk about my hatred of the sun, $8 bottles of water and most other humans).

I asked a handful of other music lovers to book their own imaginary festival, with only a few guidelines:
1) You can only select currently active acts. No dead people, no defunct acts (like, "I'd reunite Pavement") and no fantasy collaborations like "Celine Dion singing with Deicide".
2) You can add as many speakers, comedians, dancers, activists, etc. as you want.
3) This is probably not going to happen, so don't worry about money or travel visas.

Let's start today with my festival:

HOSTS: Steve Martin & Chris Rock

MUSIC STAGE:
Bjork
Bonnie 'Prince' Bily
Boredoms
Caetano Veloso
DragonForce
Fantomas
Jandek
Kanye West
King's Daughters and Sons
Konono No. 1
Mariachi Reynas de Los Angeles
Mission of Burma
Monotonix
Mucca Pazza
Neil Diamond
Neko Case
Odetta
Ornette Coleman
Radiohead
R. Kelly
Roky Erickson
Tom Waits
Wilco
Yo Majesty
Yusef Lateef

COMEDY STAGE:
Andy Kindler, Blaine Capatch, Brendon Small, Brian Posehn, Dave Attell, David Cross, Dimitri Martin, Eugene Mirman, Jon Benjamin, Jonathan Katz, Maria Bamford, Mike Birbiglia, Neil Hamburger, Norm MacDonald, Patton Oswalt, Paul Mooney, Ron Lynch, Sarah Silverman, Steven Wright, Tim Heidecker & Eric Wareheim, Todd Barry, Tom Kenny, Tracy Morgan, Vernon Chatman, Zach Galifianakis



c. 2008 Velocity Weekly