If you're being attacked by a bear, chances are pretty good that you're not in Metro Louisville. The few bears that live in Kentucky most likely reside somewhere east of‚ well, any city in this state.
But let's say you're at a party that's gotten really out of control, maybe out on a farm near Bardstown. You stumble into the woods to relieve yourself, and bump into a black bear doing the same. And he's not happy about the intrusion.
(Again: highly unlikely; there's a much better chance that you'll be attacked by Mitch McConnell.)
Still, better safe than sorry. What should you do?
"Probably the best thing is to curl up in a ball in a fetal position," said Bobby Fiske, who works at Quest Outdoors in Crescent Hill when he not out tromping in the woods.
What? I shouldn't run? Or climb a tree?
"Don't confront it, and don't run," Fiske said. "They will chase you. They can climb trees, so that would be a horrible idea. If you curl up, they won't try to eat you. They're omnivores — they'd rather not mess with something that's hard to kill."
Prevention is your best bet. Fiske recommends something called a "bear bell."
"They're designed to let them know that you're coming," he said. "They'll stay away if they hear you."
Anything else?
"Bear mace is more effective if you're being attacked," said Fiske, whose resume also includes Eagle Scout. "That's got a 25-foot foot range on it. It's not like a little cloud — it sprays quite a distance."
Okay, so we've established that I should curl up in a ball while jingling a bear ball, and if that doesn't work, be ready to mace the bear to defend myself. Did we forget anything, Bobby?
"Don't feed bears," he said.
c. 2009 Velocity Weekly
1 comment:
Don't forget to poop your pants!
Post a Comment