Woody's Tavern

Address: 208 E. Burnett Ave. (at Brook), Old Louisville.

Small print: Open daily, 4 p.m. to 4 a.m.

Why you should go: If you've been driving through Old Louisville, seen the Woody Woodpecker cartoon sign outside and wondered what product was being sold, come on in. You might think it's a comic-book shop, or perhaps some other fun place.

It is, but it's fun for those 21 and over. Woody's Tavern is a place for like-minded adults to meet and get to know one another better over a few cold ones.

The bar was previously known as a rowdy offshoot of the neighboring Mag Bar, but it has been reborn. Too much rock ‘n‘ roll attitude has been replaced by a cleaner, more sedate and fabulous bar for men who would rather kiss other men than fight them.



PHOTOS BY DAVID P. HARPE

The live music has been replaced by extra pool tables, a fine opportunity to observe a new partner in motion. The carpet looks brand new, a bit of a shock initially but a welcome improvement.

"I would feel safer passing out here now than I would have before," slurred my drunken companion Hazel.

(I didn't go to Woody's with Hazel and Sally just to assert my own orientation, but it was nice to be able to socialize with female friends who weren't being ogled by anyone besides me.)

The drinks are reasonably priced and well-made. The service is prompt and friendly, and occasionally lacking in clothing.

The jukebox has been predictably overhauled; gone is the raucous underground rock music, replaced by Mariah and Cher and, well, you get the idea.

Bottom line: The best feature is the back patio area, retained from the previous incarnation and spiffed up with some very Miami-lookin' plant life. This fall, it should be a comfortable place to drink, talk and hear songs such as "You Sexy Thing" and "One Night in Bangkok."

Bejeezus 7 micro reviews

Alexander Hacke
“Sanctuary” (Kool Arrow)
Middle-aged German men shouldn’t try to make sound collages or industrial music, it’s way too expected of them. I bet he wears leather chaps when he goes to the ATM or when he pick up a pizza.

Boyracer
“Happenstance” (Happy Happy Birthday to Me)
More fast, short, sweet English indie punk pop from Boyracer. More Heavenly than The Fall. More Blur than Suede. Very Very English.

The Channel
“Personalized” (C-Side)
These guys are named Brent Pennington and Colby Pennington. That’s gotta be the preppiest thing I’ve ever heard. Wait, they cover Will Oldham’s “Black”? Maybe I should listen to this.
Well, here we are again. I’m reminded of a scene on BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD when the boys are stunned by the completely average competency of the video they’re watching. Unable to come up with anything especially harsh or praiseworthy to say, they mumble a bit before getting up to do something else.
Oh, and then their version of “Black” suggests that they lack any depth or understanding of life whatsoever.

Crystal Skulls
“Blocked Numbers” (Suicide Squeeze)
Crystal Skulls is all about immediately catchy, mid-tempo indie rock a la The Shins, and also some of the best early ‘80’s pop, like Men at Work. I’ve listened to this over and over again. They are so much more impressive than many other current baby bands simply because they’re not trying too hard to impress. Highly recommended if you enjoy music.

Del Cielo
“Us Vs. Them” (Lovitt)
Oh boy. They’re a bit slick. Corporate rock still sucks. The singer can’t sing very well. This would’ve been on a major label in 1993. Uh, did I mention that they have a song called “Joe Goth”?

DMBQ
“The Essential Sounds from the Far East” (Estrus)
Not NRBQ, and thankfully not anything to do with Dave Matthews. This, the Dynamite Masters Blues Quartet, is classic ‘70’s rock played by 2004 Japanese guys. It’s pretty good. Not too noisy, not too generic, but ultimately not too interesting. This would sound pretty good in the background at a mildly enjoyable party.

French Toast
“In a Cave” (Dischord)
Jimmy Canty of The Make-Up and Jerry Busher of Fugazi. Together they are French Toast. Together they are obviously still deeply in love with early ‘80’s post-punk: The Wipers, Devo, Joy Division, Mission of Burma… It gets softer and more modern indie along the way – light, airy keyboards, warm emotive vocals. Hopefully they’ll perfect the balance next time out. Oh, and there’s a D.C. dub groove thrown in, just in case you forgot about their Fugazi associations. Recommended.

Goon Moon
“I Got a Brand New Egg Layin’ Machine” (Suicide Squeeze)
Get yr head around this one: Twiggy Ramirez of Marilyn Mason, Zach Hill of Hella, and QOTSA producer and Masters of Reality leader Chris Goss… The good news is that Hella’s kookily inventive instrumental assault wins out over the bloated cock rock of Mr. Ramirez and the subtler cock rock of Mr. Goss. It was good at first until the Kraftwerk-ish piece with the vocoder voices chanting, “Rock weird, weird rock.” Yeah, thanks, dudes, I didn’t get it until you pointed it out to me. And then the next one is about mashed potatoes and cream. The best thing Frank Zappa ever did wasn’t music, it was dying.

Guapo
“Black Oni” (Ipecac)
The ‘70’s ponytail prog sounds of King Crimson, Yes, etc. played with modern aggression. Also a very good soundtrack for a psychological thriller movie. Good to drive to.



Hanin Elias
“Future Noir” (Fatal)
A Marianne Faithfull for the Digital Hardcore generation, Hanin Elias has grown beyond her early association with Atari Teenage Riot and is beginning to emerge as a promising singer/songwriter, part PJ Harvey but still part dated trip-hop singer. This is what Jennifer Connelly’s character is DARK CITY should’ve sounded like. Still, I can’t really recommend this one.

The Jessica Fletchers
“Less Sophistication” (Rainbow Quartz)
Good but derivative. Midwestern power pop (Cheap Trick with only 1 testicle) / late 60’s British Invasion pop; oft-bouncy, perfectly enjoyable sunny summer fun time music. Probably wouldn’t be so easy to typecast if the singer wasn’t a nasally, trying-to-be-John-Lennon type. I guess I’d recommend it if there weren’t dozens of better versions of this stuff already available.
Oh, and thanks for lowering the bar on band names, guys. That’s gotta be the lamest ‘80’s reference yet.

Lydia Lunch
“Smoke in the Shadows” (Atavistic)
It’s shocking, just how terrible this is. This might be the worst record ever made. Imagine if your grandmother thought she was Raymond Chandler and Miles Davis at the same time. Then imagine her rapping.

Mixel Pixel
“Contact Kid” (Kanine)
This is some pretty nice bedroom indie pop/rock. Not much more to say about it – fuzzy guitars, dashes of keyboards, dude sounds like he’s around 22. I like Pavement, too.

The Paper Chase
“God Bless Your Black Heart” (Kill Rock Stars)
Shit sandwich.

Pit Er Pat
“Shakey” (Thrill Jockey)
This keyboard-driven pop band, which only owes every moment of their existence to Blonde Redhead, had the good sense to name their record properly. Due to the prominence of the keyboards and the lack of a guitar, this made me feel like I was on a ship, and I needed to drink something pink to make my tummy feel better.

The Sharp Ease
“Going Modern” (olfactory / Soft Spot)
Only the debut record by the best band in L.A. (Not that there’s a lot of competition). They’re young and female, they’re smart and bratty and know what they’re doing. The record doesn’t capture the crazy chaos of their frenetic live shows, but instead highlights their surprisingly poppy songwriting skills and tight-knit rock telepathy. It’s not the huge leap that the Germs accomplished with “G.I.”, but I hope 25 years from now people will still be listening to The Sharp Ease.

Some Girls
“The DNA Will Have Its Say” (Three.One.G)
San Diego spazz noise rock. 7 songs in 7 minutes. The vocals are shouty like hardcore but I bet they all have stylish haircuts.

Z’s
“Karate Bump” EP (Planaria)
Free Jazz.
Either you live for it or it’ll bug you.

Bulldog Cafe

Address: Bulldog Cafe, 10619 W. Manslick Road, Fairdale.

Small print: Generally open Mondays through Thursdays from 5 until 11 p.m. or so, with bluegrass jam sessions on Mondays and Thursdays and country music on Wednesdays.

Why you should go: Fans of Christopher Guest's movies need to be targeted by the organizers of the Bulldog Cafe's bluegrass nights. Authentic folk music, as depicted in Guest's movie "A Mighty Wind," is intertwined here with unique characters.

On a recent Monday night I had the pleasure of meeting a man cradling his tiny white dog, a la Paris Hilton.

My fellow music lover and drinker, Sally, complimented the tiny white dog. This led to a lengthy monologue on the subject of dog shows (as seen in Guest's movie "Best in Show").


PHOTO BY CHRIS HALL



The musicians were indeed friendly and welcoming, and shifted from old mountain songs to baby boomer favorites like the Beatles and Queen ("Fat Bottomed Girls" is even better played by men with white hair on acoustic instruments, if you didn't already know).

I have good reason to suspect that they began performing pop songs to please Sally, a younger woman.

Occasionally, the venue is host to loud rock concerts. A weekly goth night ended after a very brief run; it's not really that sort of neighborhood, you see.

The room is big and smells of many nights of drinkin', smokin' and rockin' (though smokin' is no longer permitted inside).

The video games haven't been updated in 20-some years, and if you're looking for a drink that isn't a beer -- well, I already told you it's not that sort of neighborhood. Did you forget already?

Bottom line: Beer, music, friends … what are you waiting for? A written invitation? Well, here it is. Fairdale's just around the corner. You tell me a better way to spend a Monday night.

South San Gabriel

"The Carlton Chronicles: Not Until the Operation's Through"
(Misra)

I thought I liked this record, but now that I've had to think about what I want to tell you righteous people about "The Carlton Chronicles: Not Until the Operation's Through," I think that I don't. How sad.

"The Carlton Chronicles" is a concept record. About a sick cat. I like cats. Concept records ... not too often. At least the cat doesn't play pinball.

South San Gabriel, the more-popular-in-Europe spinoff group from shambling Texas indie rockers Centro-matic, fuses aspects of quiet folk/Americana strumming with the even slower atmospheric textures of bands like Low and Codeine, bands whose names at least tell you what you're getting into.



Though South San Gabriel is still playing in the indie leagues, one of the songs ("The Dark of Garage") suddenly breaks out into an electro-pop beat reminiscent of the Postal Service. The whole thing smacks of a bossman begging them to come up with "a hit, just gimme a single I can work at radio!"

Then there's "Stupid Is As Stupid Does," the title of which will be familiar to anyone who's seen "Forrest Gump." This whole record is such a tragically bad idea that it might sound like a classic 30 years from now. If that happens, we'll enjoy it then.

South San Gabriel made a record a couple of years ago called "Welcome, Convalescence." It's real pretty. Skip this one; this cat doesn't need you.